Mike put a lot of energy into this. He forced the spirits, the very universe, to enforce a change that most would find impossible. He used his will, he used his blood.
Mike got on a plane going to New York and sat next to a handsome blond man in a hat with a small feather in it. The man smiled at Mike, Mike slipped into the aisle seat, and said, “Hermes.”
“Grey Cat.”
Mike carried with him the latest issue of Vogue, and that was all. “We need to talk, you and I.”
“This is a two hour flight,” said Hermes. “We’ll have plenty of time.”
Mike paid attention to the instructions of the flight attendants, reading the card on the back seat pocket. “First time on a plane?” Hermes asked.
“No, but I like to be prepared.”
“You’re a hero now, in charge of heroes.”
Flight attendants closed the door, and Mike listened closely to everything. He found himself gripping the armrest as it lifted off.
“Don’t like planes?” Hermes said as they cleared the ground.
“I fly on my own,” said Mike. “I don’t like being encased in tin when I do it.”
“It’s much faster.”
“You, who are fleet of foot, think that this is faster?”
The handsome man just smiled.
When they levelled off and the seatbelt sign came off, Mike felt comfortable enough to talk. “The curse.”
“What curse?”
“The curse you have placed upon me.”
“I’ve done no such thing.”
“I cannot ask the gods for help.”
Again, Hermes smiled. “But there are angels. And your will.”
“Angels. I control the angels and devils.”
“They help you, do they not? Your will has brought you here.” He plucked the magazine from the front pocket and paged through it absently. “Do you realize how free you are, Grey Cat?”
“Free?”
“The mages and wizards, the alchemists and magicians, would all give their right arm to avoid having to ask permission for every little thing.”
“Free?” Mike pondered that. It was true that now, he couldn’t invoke the gods, but he could use his own will…without prayers. Without begging. But with the freedom came responsibility and accountability.
“You,” said Hermes, “And humans in general, don’t like to be responsible for their own actions, no matter how much they talk about freedom. Isn’t that what freedom is?” He pointed to the “fasten seat belt” sign above their heads. “The freedom of not wearing a seat-belt.”
“But if I don’t wear a seat belt, I could get hurt.”
“It’s your choice whether or not you get hurt, yes? But if you choose not to wear that seat belt, ah, that is pure freedom. You can be the first one out of your seat if something happens. You have the confidence, the ability, to compensate if the plane hits turbulence.” He held open a page of the magazine and studied it. “This is interesting. I could use one of these.”
He pointed to a lighted pen in the magazine. Mike looked at it absently. “But what about proof?”
“Proof? What do you care about that? You have the freedom to come and go.” Hermes looked at Mike directly. “Isn’t that what you’ve always been about? I seem to remember, a long time ago, when you first created Safe Havens, that it was meant to be free for all to join.”
“Yeah, and look where that got me. Kicked out of my own group because I caused ‘drama’ by trying to help people be their natures.”
“Are you doing the same thing with your teenagers?”
“Yes and no. I’m helping them find themselves.”
“But they are free.”
“Yes, they’re free to make their own choices.”
“Do you need proof? Do they need proof?”
“I validate them.”
Hermes laughed. “Is that what you’re looking for? Validation? The one who is truly free couldn’t care less about validation, because he knows, in his heart, that what he’s doing is right. And if it’s wrong? He can walk away.” Hermes looked past Mike at the flight attendant. “I’ll have a vodka on the rocks.”
Mike turned to the flight attendant. “Coke,” he said absently. “Please.”
“About this man you wish to marry.”
Mike whirled his head to Hermes.
“I think, if you want my opinion, that you should remain free.”
“He loves me.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“As much as your precious Emerald?”
Mike sipped his Coke.
“You cannot trick the trickster,” said Hermes. “Would you give up your life for him?”
Mike was silent.
Hermes smiled.
Mike turned away. “It’s not fair that you ask me to comp–”
“Grey Cat, you would have married everyone you came across who cared about you. Esau. Jade. Ben. Even Jack.”
The names were like wounds in his heart, wounds that hadn’t healed even over all this time. Hermes was rubbing salt in them. He still couldn’t look at Hermes.
“Marriage means commitment, means to chain your freedom. You spoke of freedom to everyone but deep down, Grey Cat, at the heart of it all, you’re afraid of your freedom.”
“I didn’t want to lose them.”
“They left you just the same. Did you ever think that maybe it was a good thing?”
Hermes tossed his vodka nip into the trash when the attendant came around. Mike was still working on his Coke. “Will Mikael leave me?”
Hermes shrugged. “You’re asking the wrong person. But you are already chained to him.”
He was right. Mike looked for Mikael every day, and every day that passed without seeing him, Mike felt both sad that he hadn’t seen Mikael and angry at himself for waiting. “He has my ring.”
“He’s chained to you as well. You put that chain on him, thinking that will keep him. But it won’t, Grey Cat.”
Mike said after some thinking, “I gave my freedom to him. I gave it to him freely.”
“Ah, now you’re understanding.”
He downed the Coke in one gulp. “What a fool I am.”
Hermes touched Mike’s arm, and Mike looked down at it. “Grey Cat, do not make a rash decision here.”
“First you’re saying he’s not worth it, and now you’re saying I should change my mind?”
“I am saying, Grey Cat, if you want it bluntly, that you’re a man who makes complete and rash decisions based on the simplest evidence. Give it time. Talk to him.”
“I don’t have time.”
“That’s not true.”
“Hades will claim me once he finds out that–”
“Do you think he doesn’t know?”
“He…”
The captain announced they were going into their final descent. Mike was prompted to toss his Coke cup into the trash as it went by. He turned to Hermes. “He–”
“He knows. I know.”
The landing took about 20 minutes, during which Mike kept quiet and rode out the turbulence. He was gripping the seat again. Hermes put his hand on top of Mike’s and held it as they touched down. Hermes leaned over and whispered to Mike, “You will not die, Mike.”
Mike turned to Hermes. He smiled, released Mike’s hand as they taxied to the gate.