Knight knew Paulie would be pissed off, and not completing your hours, taking time off was the worst of the offenses. Taking time off without telling Paulie was probably beyond the pale.
Knight went into Paulie’s office, hat in hand, looking contrite. Paulie let him have it at first, but Knight could tell that the anger didn’t last long – the normal Irish temper, Knight thought. “Go, then. Go,” Paulie finally said, waving a dismissive hand at Knight.
Valko was out there. Knight didn’t really want to see him, didn’t want to see anyone. He wanted to go home and crawl under the blankets or into a bottle. “Knight,” he said quietly, and Knight turned to him. He knew he looked like shit, and he really didn’t care.
“Okay, here’s how it’s going to be,” Valko said, and attempted a smile. Knight wasn’t in the mood, and Valko could tell that. “Lemme show you the kitchen first?”
Knight looked around the kitchen. It was near spotless; he couldn’t have done a better job if he was on his own. Knight would normally be impressed. Today he was distracted. Valko offered to leave, and Knight agreed.
He brought Valko to his apartment. Valko invited him inside and fed him, though he wasn’t hungry – so he said. However he ate the sandwich given to him. Knight wanted to go home. Mal would be there. Could be there. Valko offered to stay the night with Knight, and Knight must have given him a look of horror. If Mal showed up and Valko were there – even on the couch – he could just imagine the thought that would go through his mind.
Knight instead compromised. He would go home, get his blankets that still had Mal’s and Scott’s scent, and find another shirt from Mal and bring it over to Valko’s. He would crash on the couch at Valko’s place, though he felt guilty for doing so. What if Mal came home and he wasn’t there?
Yet Valko made a good argument. “You’re wrecked,” Valko said, “And Mal wouldn’t want you alone. Other thing, something bad has happened to Mal. Whatever chance it might come for you, or reach out for you? I dunno, but not a good time to be wrecked and on your own, right?”
Knight knew he wasn’t thinking straight. What would Mal want, what would he do? He’d want me to turn over heaven and earth to look for him – but I need to know where to start. He wasn’t good at locations, sensing what direction Mal had been in; he was going by his gut instinct, and that instinct said that Flux-Carson knew something.
He tried to sleep, but over and over, scenarios ran through his head, like a hamster stuck in a wheel.
What if Mal was in trouble and Thundrax took the information and saved him and…
What if someone shot Mal thiking he was a real snow leopard?
What if zombies got him?
The craziest ideas, things that he normally would toss off as too stupid, took hold in his mind and would not let go. The more he thought, the more he worried, the more he tried to reach out with his mind to Call Mal, and the more he cried.
The next morning, he looked like hell, and he knew it. Valko was the one who got him up, into the bathroom for a shower, made him sausage and scrambled eggs – need to teach him how to do sunny side up – got him on the bike and told him where to go. Knight went to work in a daze.
Paulie saw there was something wrong after he checked in on him. “Look, Knight, just get stuff ready for today and tomorrow. Take tomorrow off. Do what you need to do, okay?”
Knight only nodded, still in the daze, and Paulie looked at him concerned. He said no more, and left the kitchen.