846. What is the closest you’ve ever been to a celebrity and how do you tell the story to friends? If you don’t have a situation, make one up.
Drinks usually degenerated into bragging. Miles was leaning against the wall, while his five friends from the office started talking about their brushes with fame. When you work for an ad agency, the brushes with fame came often enough. “I saw Elizabeth Taylor three days before she died,” said one, and the other ones laughed at him. “She worked until she died.”
One of them turned to Miles. “You’re awful quiet. No brushes with fame?”
“I fucked Shining Blade.”
The five men around him grew suddenly silent, while Miles sipped his drink for effect. He grinned as he did, his eyes laughing.
“You did not!” someone finally said.
“I did so.” Again, he sipped. He looked the men over and began:
“I was leaving Steel Canyon, going on the train home to Skyway, when this woman – holy shit, this woman – she was there. Some Skull came at me, and she knocked them out – one, two! Then we got on the train, and she wanted to make sure I was all right. She sat next to me, started kissing me, and one thing led to another.” He was grinning the entire time. “She never took off her knives.”
The other men looked at him and shook his head. Miles remembered it as if it was yesterday, could still feel her hot breath on his neck. He had to keep repeating Down, boy to himself, and, in fact, had to remove himself to the bathroom.
He got inside, and searched for an empty stall. Finding one, he went inside and forced himself to relax so he could take care of his issue. Then, the door burst open – he had locked it. He whirled around, and a hugely muscled bald man in leathers absolutely filled the doorway. “So. Heard you fucked a hero.”
His boy went down immediately as fear suddenly kicked in. “Look, mister, I’m sorry–”
“I think you was lyin’.” The man said. “Shining Blade’s a lesbian.”
He held his hands up. “I–I–”
“Let me show you what it’s like to get fucked by a hero.” The man stepped into the stall, barely with enough room for the two of them, and grabbed Miles, whipping him around so that he was against the wall. He wanted to scream. He almost did, but then something happened to give him absolute pure bliss, and it was that night with Shining Blade again, a night that was entirely in his mind, but felt so real now.
One of the bar friends found him on the floor of the stall, with the walls whitewashed. Only his penis was exposed, the rest of him was tucked nicely into his pants. He was moaning, “Oh, Blade, again…” as they took him away. The five men sobered up enough to start heading home. “That whole Blade shit was made up,” said one, and the rest agreed.